Thursday, June 6, 2013

Dear God .... How Could You Do This To Me?

I have been unemployed for about four months. And I had two real prospects 2.5 months ago where the pay was so low, it was laughable. I had to walk away. (I'll blog about those two morons another time.) Since then ... nothing. It was like I was a leper and Jesus was on permanent vacation.

Then, two companies contact me on Monday, one interviews me on Wednesday, the other today (Thursday) and both want to offer me a job. It's a compliment, but good Lord! What the hell happened? Last time I checked my shirt, I still had the same boobs, no implants, no lifts. Did I get hotter all of a sudden?

When all of this happened on Monday, I was volunteering at a yoga center. Well, "volunteering" is a loose term. When I was on those phone interviews, no one was getting helped. Thank God, no one is in there on Monday afternoons but the instructors. 

As I was telling the head of that center I might have to leave soon for one of two jobs, she was not surprised at all. 

"You took your energy away from it, accepted that it would take a while to find a job, and focused on other things. Then, it could come to you."

Well, ain't that some shit? Really, God, is THIS how we do things? I've always been the kind of person to hold on to a task with a vice grip until it's done. Isn't that what the world tells us to do? See it through. Be consistent. Never give up.

The truth is that it's better to go do something else and take your energy off it ... whatever it is. God, I guess you need space to work your magic. I was suffocating You and You needed some bro time to just chilllllll.

Who knew that you were supposed to take your eyes OFF the ball to hit a homerun? Nobody ever tells you that shit when you're growing up. Our culture has too many overachieving assholes who - not surprisingly - give horseshit advice.

Less insightful but certainly well meaning was the valley girl napping in the back of the yoga center who woke up, then interrupted my regaling her with my white girl problems to offer, 

"It's, like, karma? You're here, like, on an energy exchange, like, riiiiight? Well, that's like good karma like coming back to you."

On the long drive home from today's interview, I had a talk with my guides. I'm one of those intuitives that receives great information from my guides and angels when I'm doing something else, something other than asking them  or "tuning in." It never comes to me when I'm asking but later when I'm doing some kind of .... something, usually driving. (Thanks for that, by the way! How useful to get the guidance to sort out your life while your fucking driving and can't write it down or record it in any way. Speaking of which, this blog entry was so much cooler in my head on the way home than it is now, but I blame You for that.)

The thing is that it's all about choice. Being intuitive and having psychic friends offers no insulation from difficult human choices. For example, two weeks ago, a psychic friend of a friend of mine actually texted my friend to tell her to tell me that there would be two jobs coming my way and that one of them was really right for me.

ONE of them. Not which one. Just ONE.

Awesome!

I still have to decide. It's like Harry Potter taught us, it's our choices that make us who we are. The psychic part helps - I sure got my resume together and started sending shit out after my friend relayed our psychic friend's message. But now the ball's in my court.

No matter how good you are at hearing your own angels, spirit, guides, whomever, it comes down to you in the end. And, it's supposed to.

Choices and consequences. It's what makes Joss Whedon stories so great and life so difficult.

Also, not all blessings feel like blessings at the time. Again, what makes Joss Whedon stories so great and life so difficult. (By the way, good job on that guy! He really is a genius. I know he doesn't believe in You, but most atheists are atheists because they understand You better than believers. And pop! goes the can of worms. More on this subject when I am not overwhelmed with white girl problems.)

I am so grateful to be in this position ... so damn happy that I am giving myself chin acne just like Tina Fey. She summed up my life best (even though she doesn't know me) by saying,

"My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne."

in Bossypants (which everyone should listen to!). I have a big zit above my lip now, so close enough...

In conclusion, God, thank you. No really! The abundance of your blessings ... can be measured in puss above my lip.

(I know, I know, I'm doing it to myself .... blah, blah, blah ....)